Army guy.
Age 23, Male
Mayport, PA
Joined on 7/18/08
Posted by 111122223138 - January 9th, 2011
I'd like you guys to review it and critisise anything you find wrong with it.
I think I have a good start atleast? What all could I clean up; Aside from the repition of I?
Death's captive.Thanks, 111122223138 - aka pyro3138
: Third time i've copy-pasted this whole thing... hopefully the last.
Like I said, I'd greatly appreciate some of yen'z checkin it out and giving your opinion on it.
This is a pretty good short story, if I do say so myself. The way it is written could use a little brushing up, but this was your first short story, so it's understandable. The plot was fine and went into a fair amount of detail, which is something I enjoyed about it. Anyway, it was a great first attempt and you should keep it up.
I'm glad you liked it. I'm suprised that it's being taken so positivley by you guys.
It also feels good to know my amount of detail put into it was noticed too.
Why the hell would your name be anything in binary? Binary is 1's and 0's. I doubt anyone has EVER asked you that and you are just attention whoring,
Both are true, fine sir.
I like you, definitely one of the best '08ers out there.
Well you're the best killing male youth that performs felatia I've ever seen <3
hello
Hello Professional Chrome.
Are you ever going to fix the quote fail at ": Third time i've copy-pasted this whole thing... hopefully the last." ???
NO! >:(
You SUCK.
PyroflameGames
You're welcome.